Artist's Statement

Central Question

By creating and destroying artistic representations of my fears, will I be able to overcome them? To answer this question I filmed the creation of four art projects that represented irrational fears. I also filmed the destruction of these four art pieces to physically overcome my fears. I edited a cohesive movie of my process and reflected on my anxiety throughout. My focus and reflection on each fear made me less afraid and more rational. By making art I was able to self-induce catharsis and release stress. 

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Literature

My whole capstone project is rooted in art therapy. Art therapy allows people like myself who struggle with depression and anxiety to express emotions of fear and stress through healthy outlets like art. This process is an effective stress relief strategy and can induce catharsis (Wadeson 237). Analyzing artwork specifically created for therapy allows further insight into a person's mental state (Wadeson 9). Common motifs in art therapy artwork when studying manic and anxious patients include exploding open forms like spirals, organic shapes, bold lines, and loose organization (Wadeson 80). Lack of color, static lines and closed forms are often seen in artwork made by depressed patients (Wadeson 81). I used these concepts like movement, contrast, abstraction and darkness to convey my emotions in my artwork. I was inspired by Fran Krause who illustrated irrational fears in his book Deep Dark Fears. The results are visually intriguing and relatable. While some of the fears are terrifying, mostly the comics are fun to read. The cartoon drawing style reminds readers how unrealistic each fear is and makes each scene less scary (Krause). I enjoyed how creative the visuals were without relying on gore and grotesque imagery. Another influence of mine is Bansky's Love is in the Bin which was a performance piece from 2018. Right after the artwork Girl with Balloon was sold at an auction the piece shredded itself (Reyburn). Banksy denied the art world of an artwork that could be commodified and profited off of. By bringing artwork into this world as an artist you have the right to then destroy it. The act of destruction is empowering. I wanted to explore how destroyed art would influence me and my art making. 

Methods

For creation I used many techniques: journaling, drawing, painting, sculpting, storyboarding, filming and editing. Journaling was extremely helpful in identifying fears and determining what aspects of the fear I wanted to highlight in my art. I also journaled iterations of the same fear and small sketches of possible interpretations. I drew two of my artworks because that is the medium I am most comfortable with. I painted with acrylics for my third artwork to create a more bright graphic design. I sculpted my fourth piece with paper, papier-mache and yarn because I wanted the artwork to have form so it could interact with its environment. I wanted the film to include more than just my process. I used storyboarding to plan four separate arcs in my movie. I filmed with my phone and edited the video in Final Cut Pro. For destruction I used four main methods: burning, ink, ripping and deterioration. I burned my first fear because it felt as if I was exorcising the monster from my closet and it was visually satisfying. I poured ink over my second artwork to represent how darkness can be all-consuming. For my painting I ripped the canvas to free the trapped hand within, and give the 2D artwork depth. Lastly, by placing my sculpture outside I allowed nature and weather to deteriorate it. This destruction method reflects my fourth and final fear of growing old.

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Audience & Impact

While this project was very personal, I want my art and ideas to be accessible. My artwork is for anyone struggling with anxiety and mental health, specifically students and Arts Scholars. This audience is able to relate to me and my experiences, and would benefit the most from learning catharsis and healing through art. I hope my audience learns art is a good outlet for emotional turmoil and (safe) destruction can be therapeutic, meaningful and satisfying. I hope by talking about art therapy and its benefits I can further de-stigmatize talking about mental health. Through my capstone project I have learned to be more mindful of my irrational anxieties. I discovered by analyzing my fears one by one I was able to think more rationally and calm my anxiety. I have grown as an artist by creating my first series of connected pieces. For this project I learned how to meticulously document my process. I learned time management techniques and creativity boosters. I learned how important it is to plan ahead when creating meaningful art with purposeful artistic choices.

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References

Krause, Fran. Deep Dark Fears. Ten Speed Press, 2015.

Reyburn, Scott. “Banksy Painting Self-Destructs After Fetching $1.4 Million at Sotheby's.” The New York Times, The New York Times, 6 Oct. 2018, www.nytimes.com/2018/10/06/arts/design/uk-banksy-painting-sothebys.html.
Wadeson, Harriet. Art Psychotherapy. John Wiley & Sons, Inc, 2010.

Acknowledgements

I would like to thank the faculty, Harold and Heather, for their continual support and thoughtful advise throughout my two years as an Arts Scholar. I would like to thank my mom, Mark, and Jack for helping me film. I would like to thank my roommates for their encouragement and my peers for helpful feedback and kind affirmations.