My Creative Process
Sketches
My original sketch for the monster hiding in my closet. I wasn't sure how to do the smoke billowing out of the gas mask so I looked for references after this inital drawing.
My original sketch was of an unknown woman. After drawing this I realized it felt impersonal so I decided to make this drawing a self-portrait, since this is my fear living in my head.
After identifying my fear of being unable to complete activities of daily living, I sketched a form that would be unable to stand up. While my final sculpture doesn't have a spring neck, it was inspired by this drawing.
Creation Techniques
Graphite pencil
I am very comfortable with pencil as a medium. I decided to use pencil to make a more grunge/retro design, as if the drawing was out of an old scary stories book. I learned how to effectively shade smoke with pencil through contrast.
Colored pencil
I have not drawn a self portrait in colored pencil before. I learned to see many different colors in my skin tone and exaggerate them, such as blues and purples in the shadows.
Acrylic paint
I have never painted a hand before using acrylic paint. I learned that I was able to easily cover up mistakes with the quick drying time. However this also made it harder to blend colors. I chose acrylic paint specifically because I wanted a pop-art style.
Papier-mâché
I wanted to create a form out of paper. Using papier-mâché allowed me to create a smooth transition from head, to body to neck in my sculpture and make it look like one piece. I learned the glossy finished surface was easy to paint and actually quite durable.
Rapid Prototyping
While working on my capstone I completed an iteration challenge while planning my third artwork. I used rapid prototyping to create small sketches representing different fears and thinking about how I would destroy each one. I have this little character who has a hole in its chest that could represent a number of fears such as "being not enough, being unlovable, never loving", etc. and I really love the design!... but I decided it's not complex enough to be a painted and I wanted to use many bright colors in my painting. So I killed that darling and I decided my next fear was going to be 'fear of being trapped'. Among these thumbnail sketches is a drawing of my final design: an arm reaching through jail bars.
Creativity Challenge
I used multiple techniques throughout my capstone for a creativity boost. One technique was using time constraints when filming the destruction of my self portrait. Research has shown in multiple studies that when faced with an obstacle, perceptional scope and engagement increases amongst participants (Marguc et al). My friend has a studio in his basement and I was going to drive him somewhere so I showed up 30 minutes before we had to leave to work on set up and filming. I was filming the destruction of my second drawing, where I poured ink all over it. We had one practice round where I used a plain sheet of paper and poured ink on it. The ink pooled in the middle so I decided to prop my drawing and have the ink drip down the real artwork. We finished filming and cleaned up the ink and left within the half hour! By only giving myself 30 minutes I was forced to make executive decisions fast and not worry so much about imperfections like I did when burning my first drawing.
Marguc, Janina, Jens Förster & Gerben Van Kleef. 2011. “Stepping Back to See the Big Picture: When Obstacles Elicit Global Processing.” Journal of personality and social psychology. 101. 883-901. https://www.researchgate.net/publication/51603170_Stepping_Back_to_See_the_Big_Picture_When_Obstacles_Elicit_Global_Processing
Destruction Techniques
Burning
Burning was one of the hardest destruction methods. The paper did not light easily when laying on the ground. It took about 10 minutes to burn one piece of paper. I tried soaking the paper in alcohol but that did not help flammability. I learned that burning a piece of paper would be easier hanging. I burned my monster, thus destroying my fear.
Spilling ink
Spilling ink was very quick and quite easy. Clean up was made easy by having a trash bag underneath my work. I practiced once with a plain sheet of paper and the ink was pooling in the middle. I learned that having the paper at an angle makes ink trickle down and cover more area. I swallowed my fear of darkness in black ink, thus overcoming it.
Ripping
I have never ripped canvas before and it was the most satisfying process. I learned I must use a sharp knife to make cuts but can then tear the canvas with my hands along the seams. I tore the trapped hand out of the canvas, thus freeing it.
Aging
Having my sculpture age outside and have the weather deteriorate it was a struggle. For a month the sculpture barely changed. Then it disappeared from my backyard for a week, only to find it a few days later destroyed in the forest behind my backyard. By making it sit outside for months, my sculpture slowly ages until it becomes nothing.
Storyboarding
In preparation for making my movie I storyboarded sections before filming. I wanted each artwork to be a chapter in the film. Storyboarding helped me plan what scenes to film, which time-lapses to use, and how to edit my final movie. The plot remains very similar even if my final video isn't exactly the same as my original storyboards.
The Importance of Journaling
A large part of my process was using my journal. I used my journal to brainstorm fears that I could turn into art. Once I chose a fear, I explored the specific aspects I was afraid of, and how that fear was irrational. This helped me best represent this anxiety symbolically in my art. I journaled iterations of designs so I had options to choose from when planning my artwork. I also journaled reflections on creating my fears. Lastly I journaled reflections on destroying my fears.